Nano-Cat: Awkward Moments
by Wildgirl404
Summary: Spin off series of Nano-cat in which we see all the embarrassing, ridiculous, and mostly laughable situations that arise from the down side to Kirito's new found cat powers. The more funny hidden side to Nano-cat.
1. Cat Quirks

**A/N: Ok so I felt like the way I had Nano-cat set up, might be confusing, then I felt like it was weird to have all joking chapters then maybe two or three serious ones so, I took chapter two and three and will soon add another and put it here. The plan is to make this the one I put all the joke chapters in and then the main story to be more bad ass and serious. Sorry for the inconvenience I hope you all don't mind.**

Chapter 1: Cat Quirks

"Hey guys." Kirito greeted as he entered "Dicey Café" to meet up with all his friends looking utterly exhausted.

Klein, Asuna, Lizbeth, Silica, and even Agil (who was currently cleaning a glass to sparkling perfection like he always seemed to be doing when one came in here) turned and acknowledged the arrival of the final friend of the group. And what an interesting group it was, brought together by a death game when all they had thought they were gonna get was a brief escape from reality when they first logged on.

To top it off just a year after everything Kirito went and got himself freaky cat powers; he really couldn't stay out of trouble could he?

"Hey man, you're late." Klein responded rather loudly.

"Ah…sorry about that but um…I was trying to get rid of them." Was Kirito's vague response.

"Them?" Asuna questioned as the rest of the group looked on, completely confused.

"The cats."

"The cats?" everyone repeated blankly.

Kirito just sighed before pointing to the window, "Look outside."

Everyone slowly got up and moved towards the window to see what their friend (or in Asuna's case; boyfriend) was referring to. They all just stared.

Klein was the first one to question what they were all looking at and of course he had to put it in the most ridiculous way, "Dude…Are you building an army of cats?"

Silence filled the room.

Cats, there were at least a dozen of them just sitting outside, most were just patiently waiting but some were making a point to make their presence known with many meows and scratches to the door. Passerby's stared and pointed, some asking others what was going on and others pulling out cameras to get pictures of the parade of cats outside the old Café. It was quite the confounding sight to see. Agil wasn't complaining much, it was more than likely good for publicity at least…Though he might have to repaint the door which wasn't a very pleasing thought to him.

Kirito on the other hand just looked embarrassed as he let out an awkward laugh to Klein's questioning as everyone else turned to him to wait for some form of an explanation.

"Well…I just am having a couple problems with cats following me everywhere I go…I try to avoid them and make them lose my trail but…well I'm starting to think cats are really everywhere" He finished as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Why exactly are they following you?" Lizbeth asked seemingly trying to hold back a laugh, though in Kirito's opinion this was not in any way or form funny, it was really starting to drive him up the wall.

"I don't know." It might have something to do with the fact that I'm basically a human cat, maybe they see me as their big brother or something? Kirito mused silently to himself.

"Do you have catnip in your pockets maybe?" Silica finally piped up.

Why the heck would he carry catnip in his pockets?

"No…No catnip here."

He was avoiding that crap anyway since the last time he encountered it growing in some old cat lady's yard…He rolled in it and rubbed his face in it, not unlike any other cat, much to his eternal embarrassment.

In fact he was finding more and more strange cat quirks popping up in his daily life that were not there before… Like his new found obsession with all things milk…when in fact he has hated milk with a passion all his life…

Or his new passion for eating fish.

Or even how shiny things prove to be an extreme form of distraction to him now… much to his annoyance.

Really now that he thought about it, He wasn't so sure if the cat powers were worth it after all…

"Well…whatever the reason get them to stop scratching my door, I really don't want to go through the trouble of repainting it…" Agil called over his shoulder as he walked back to his place behind the bar.

"R-right, I'll do that…" the look of horror on Kirito's face really would make one wonder if the little kitties were tigers in disguise or something. Asuna couldn't help but giggle, the situation was rather bizarre and they would be sure to figure out the cause later, but for now her boyfriend's reactions were rather amusing.

Kirito took a deep breath as if preparing himself for war as he slowly turned the door knob and rushed outside to shoo his feline fan club away.

Well what a wonderfully epic fail.

The minuet he rushed out the door one of the cats accidently got in the way of his feet and he made to avoid tripping over the cat so as not to hurt it, this of course resulted in him tripping over his own two feet and going down with all the wonderful grace of a falling cat himself.

If that wasn't the worst of the situation, then finding himself on his butt surrounded by a dozen fluffy and cuddly cats climbing all over him was…or maybe the fact that the door was still wide open for all his friends to get a front seat view to the whole situation.

Meow

Kirito deadpanned as one of the smaller cats climbed on top of his head and curled up in his hair like it planned to sleep there, not to mention that he had a cat on each shoulder and not a free space on his lap, or even a space where a cat wasn't rubbing up against his sides or back. He was beginning to assume that he no longer looked like a human, but more like a giant moving multicolored mass of fluffy fur.

Laughter, it started out as a couple small giggles and quickly grew as Lizbeth, Silica, and Asuna rose to hysterical at the ridiculous and in their opinions absolutely adorable scene before them…Even if Kirito himself was making a face like he had just been shot…

Asuna whipped out her phone and took a picture.

"Yep I'm making that my new screen saver." She giggled again

Klein and Agil looked on at the poor boy in pity; those girls were sure to torture him for the rest of his life because of this moment right now.

"Oi, Asuna send me that picture, I want a copy!" Lizbeth called out, Silica nodding her head eagerly between laughs as she spoke, "Me too!"

"Yep, you got it!" Asuna responded with a big smile.

Kirito almost wanted to cry.

Almost.

**A/N: I hope you guys liked that, that's all for now…review what you think plz! Also if you have a vague funny idea of a cat based situation for Kirito to land himself in here… don't be afraid to put the prompt idea as part of your review. If I like it and feel like I can pull it off, I might just write it. ;)**


	2. Cats vs Dogs

**A/N: Ok so first thing first, I did not sleep at all last night, and the night before that I only slept for 4 hours so I am sleep deprived and apologize if this chapter sucks…or makes no sense. It's not supposed to anyway, its just supposed to be funny. I should clarify some info, Kirito is 19 which means Asuna is 20 and I will have to look up all the other characters ages to find the age difference and figure the rest out…wow I am ranting. This is what happens when you don't sleep. Kirito is also already living in his own apartment so… See you at the bottom yeah? Enjoy! Also this chappy really doesn't correlate with the main story, its just there for laughs. **

Chapter 2: Cats vs. Dogs

"You want me to do what?!" Kirito practically hollered into the phone in disbelief, he must have heard wrong…

"Dog-Sit my dog…" was the little voice on the other end of the line.

"Wha…Why the heck would you pick me to do that?" Kirito continued in exasperation. He didn't have anything against dogs, on the contrary he used to love them and feel rather indifferent towards cats for that matter…but oh how the tables have turned…The dog in question was sweet enough and used to adore Kirito, Key word "used too" he hasn't been around the dog since the whole cat powers thing so he wasn't so sure anymore.

"My dog loves you, who better to trust him with?"

"Doesn't your dog like chasing cats or something? He hates cats right?"

"Well yeah but what does that have to do with dog-sitting? You don't own a cat right? There's no cat in your place right?" One could just feel her confusion it was so thick.

"Ha, that depends on how you chose to look at the situation." Really he didn't see this working out well at all.

"He'll be good; you'll hardly know he's there!" Oh ho…now she's begging, how unfortunate for her that agreeing may concern his health, and how in the heck would he not know the dog is there for an ENTIRE WEEK?!

"Silica, I cannot dog-sit your dog, ask Asuna-" He started, listing off the first name to his head; which of course was almost always Asuna.

"She's having a family thing this week, and you know how her mother is…no way she would let a dog ever enter their house anyways." Kirito cringed, yes he knew her mother…Her very scary mother…the boy was starting to think the criminals he took down daily would make for better company, no that was mean…trash the rude slightly bitter and vengeful thoughts (even if they are 100% accurate).

"Ok good point..Liz?"

"She's going on a date."

"With who? And what's she doing for the rest of the week that won't let her take him?" He retorted in exasperation yet again.

"She won't tell me…"

Silence awkwardly filled both ends of the line.

"She won't tell you?" Kirito repeated blankly, "Well…If that's not sketchy, I don't know the meaning of the word." He stated with heavy sarcasm. He was starting to get irritated as his hope of finding someone else to take the dog, slowly dwindled to nothing.

"Agil?" well it was official; Kirito was desperate.

"His wife is allergic to dogs."

"How convenient…for him." Kirito replied dryly…there was only one option left, and it wasn't looking hopeful at all.

"Klein?"

Silica snickered, "Would you seriously trust Klein with a dog for a week?" Silica asked in disbelief.

"No."

"Exactly, which is why I'm calling you, please Kirito I'm begging you!" Oh he noticed the minuet she started, the necessity to point it out was actually in fact not needed.

"Oh come on! I just finished moving into my apartment, I have it just the way I want it. I do not want a dog in here to mess it up. This, this here is my sanctuary."

"Kirito please you're the only person I have left to call, before I have to find some expensive stranger to do it, and I don't feel comfortable leaving Ryota with a random stranger!"

Well shit, he was in that horrible situation where saying no would make you feel like a bad friend.

Kirito heaved a big sigh as his only preparation for the oncoming doom he was about to lay upon himself with just a single word.

"Fine."

"Yay! Thank you so much Kirito! You're a life saver!"

Here's to seriously hoping the dog doesn't even notice the cat -like changes, or he was truly screwed…no ifs ands or buts about it.

* * *

Ding Dong

Oh.. Kirito's doom is here.

"Coming!" Kirito shouted as he made his way to the door and pulled it open with a forced smile.

"Thank you so much for doing this Kirito!" Silica said with a bright smile as Kirito took the heavy bag she was lugging around her shoulder and the dogs leash as she darted off to get the rest of his stuff.

The dog on the end of said leash just stared at Kirito.

"What? No wagging tail and kisses like before?" Kirito questioned as he stared right on back.

Growl

Yeah he expected as much, but it never hurts to be hopeful...

Kirito just sighed as he turned back to the door to wait for Silica to drop off the last of the dog's things before she left him to die. Maybe he should have helped her? Nah he'll consider it payback for the crappy week to come.

Finally Silica arrived dragging a big bag of dog food and a large dog bed folded in half under her arm.

"Ok don't forget to make sure he has food and water available at all times and his bed can go in your room right? He likes to be near someone as he sleeps and-"

"Yes yes Silica I got it, now go and have fun on your vacation ok?" Kirito cut her off with a smile, honestly you would think she was handing him a child instead of a dog.

"Um…Ok thank you so much for this and-"

"Goodbye Silica" He cut her off before she could go into another rant with a laugh and a wave as she smiled and turned to go.

"Goodbye Kirito! Be good Ryota!" She called over her shoulder as Kirito finally closed the door.

"Well it's just you and me now buddy."

The dog just glared at him from his place on the floor.

* * *

"NO STOP! BAD DOG!" Kirito screamed as he ran away from the dog chasing after him barking.

He had just gotten out of the shower and was going to get dressed when the dog growled at him like he was planning to rip him apart.

Kirito just sighed and made shooing movements with his hands as he tried going around but the dog actually yipped at him making the poor young man jump. That was about the time the dog charged and Kirito ran.

At least he had a towel…

"Ha! Can't get me up here, can you!" Kirito called smugly from his spot up on the kitchen island.

The dog just kept barking from below.

Kirito looked around for something to distract the dog with almost desperately (hell who was he kidding, he was most definitely desperate); his eyes landed on the bag Silica gave him.

He dug through it for a moment before pulling out a dog treat.

The dog stopped barking almost immediately staring on in interest before chasing after it once Kirito threw it.

Wasting no time Kirito leaped in a jump impossible for humans landing himself across the room before running down the small hallway as the dog started to run his way again.

Quickly Kirito dashed into his room and slammed the door shut.

* * *

A starring contest.

That was the only way one could describe this moment.

As Kirito sat from his spot on the couch, remote in hand, and the dog purposefully sat in front of the TV, and they both just glared at each other.

"Move." Kirito commanded with his face as stoic as it could possibly be.

The dog stared on and it may just be Kirito's imagination…but he was damn sure that the dog was grinning at him.

Smug little bastard.

"Alright already I'll change the channel!" Kirito practically shouted in annoyance and defeat.

The dog immediately moved and curled up on the opposite end of the couch.

"Who told you that you were allowed on my couch?" Kirito snapped

The dog glared in response.

Kirito just huffed before turning back to the TV to find a new channel, "Fine, whatever, do what you want."

* * *

"Doesn't it get old? Eating the same boring crap every day?" Kirito asked as he scooped more dog food in the previously empty dog bowl.

Ryota stared at him for a long moment, big puppy eyes that stated clearly that yes it does get old…very old.

"Huh….How's steak sound?" Kirito stated after a moment of contemplation.

The dog barked happily in excitement as a response...

Had anyone looked inside Kirito's apartment at around dinner time they would have been meet with quite the amusing sight as Kirito and Ryota the dog sat across from each other at the small floor table eating steak, like a couple humans enjoying dinner together.

The part that's amusing? One of them was very much so obviously a dog instead.

* * *

Ryota tossed and turned on his little dog bed uncomfortably before looking up at the figure curled up in the nearby bed. Only to be met with big gray eyes staring back at him from the bed.

"Are you done tossing and turning? Because you're making a lot of noise and I have acute hearing."

The dog just stared back at him before shuffling some more in a poor attempt to get more comfortable.

Kirito just sighed, "One time." he started.

The dog looked back at the young man confused.

"One time you get to sleep in my bed; don't think it will ever happen again."

The dog was on his bed almost immediately before actually (much to Kirito's surprise) snuggling up to Kirito and instantly falling asleep.

Kirito stared for a long moment before shaking his head in exasperation and falling asleep soon after.

* * *

Silica made her way to the elevator that would lead up to Kirito's apartment only to spot Asuna doing the same.

"Asuna!" she called catching the girl's attention, as she turned and smiled in acknowledgment.

"Silica? What brings you here?" she questioned her face full of curiosity.

"I had Kirito dog-sit my dog this past week I was away, you visiting him?" Silica responded.

"Of course why else would I be here? I haven't seen him all week, what with the family vacation I was stuck with." Asuna giggled and then made her way into the elevator as it dinged open, Silica following after.

"So, you actually convinced Kirito-kun to babysit your dog?" Asuna started up, as the elevator's doors closed, with a look not too far from disbelief.

"Yeah…why?" Silica stated with a confused response towards the way Asuna had asked that.

"Oh nothing…It's just that a couple months ago I started noticing that he was making a point to avoid dogs, what's even weirder is how dogs responded to him every time he ended up near one anyway. I mean they just growl and bark like crazy…You would think Kirito-kun is the mail man." Asuna stated with a small laugh as she seemed to get lost in thoughts about the whole ordeal.

"His family's neighbors just got a dog 3 months ago when Kirito-kun was just starting to look for his own place and I swear it speeded up the process tenfold." She continued.

Silica shifted on her feet nervously, she hoped that Kirito and Ryota got along well this week.

The elevator reached its destination as its doors opened with another ding on the 3rd floor.

Both young women got out.

"I have a spare key Kirito-kun gave me so you can just come in with me." Asuna stated as she turned to the correct door and began unlocking it.

"Thank you" Silica responded politely as she followed Asuna inside.

Both just stopped and stared at the sight before them.

The first two rooms one saw when they walked into the apartment was the Living room and the kitchen, and both looked like a war had been held in them (not all that far from the truth actually).

As they turned and carefully made their way down the small hall that held a bathroom and Kirito's room they continued to look around the war zone in concern.

Both were about to say something when they heard Kirito talking in his room.

"No no no, you're totally cheating, that is not how you play chess."

Growl

"Don't growl at me, it doesn't change the fact that you cheated." Kirito stated bluntly

Both girls just gaped at the door before Asuna stepped forward and pushed it open.

Chess, somehow Kirito had a dog, playing chess with him. They were both starring down each other as the dog leant over and nudged a piece forward.

They were so into the game, that shouldn't be possible for a dog to even play in the first place, that they didn't even notice the two girls staring at them like they were seeing the very definition of insanity before their eyes.

"Kirito-kun…" Asuna called weakly. Poor girl that was really all she could manage to get out of her mouth.

The response was immediate, both Ryota and Kirito whipped their heads in the direction of the two girls standing in the door way.

"Oh hey guys. How were your vacations?"

When no response was given both Kirito and the dog cocked their heads in confusion before shrugging and turning back to finish the game they started.

**A/N: and done XD I don't know about you guys but I think a dog playing chess would just be hilarious. How many of you worry and fuss about you dogs when you have to leave them in someone else's home for a vacation? SHOW OF HANDS! I do, as far as I'm concerned my dog is a human. Anyway I hoped you liked this very insane chapter and please leave a review, and thank you very much to all those awesome people who have left one so far :D it really made me want to keep writing more!**


	3. Mouse Trap

**So I just learned how to use that stupid line for line breaks and stuff, look at that, I'm so proud of my horizontal line. I wasn't even the person who figured it out, my friend did. Well we can only be so smart right?**

* * *

Chapter 3: Mouse Trap

Lizbeth sighed in complete and utter boredom, quickly gaining the attention of everyone else in her close proximity. Besides Klein and Agil, the whole gang was there sitting on the picnic blanket quietly.

Kirito and Asuna had been talking about how nice it was to go to the park at this time of year, unfortunately for her and Silica they had bought into it. What the two should have mentioned, before Lizbeth decided to drag them all to the park right then and there, was how they meant it was nice for just the two of them romantically speaking.

Couples.

Now here they all sat around awkwardly on a blanket in the grass silently, and she was fairly certain she was going to go bonkers with boredom.

"This is boring." She grumbled in annoyance.

"You're the one who dragged us here." Kirito responded mostly under his breath.

Lizbeth just huffed in annoyance again as she looked over towards the trees, movement caught her eye.

"Oh look at the cute little mouse over there!" Silica squealed, apparently catching sight of the same thing.

Kirito who had at the moment in time been drinking water from a bottle immediately did a spit take towards the grass, "What? Where?!" he hollered as he jumped to his feet.

Everyone stared at him confusedly.

"Um…It's just a mouse Kirito." Lizbeth commented, Silica nodding her head in agreement as she spoke.

"Lizbeth I know what a mouse is, they're evil little taunting bastards that sit there with their little beady eyes and whiskers and-" He paused in his rant when he noticed everyone staring at him like he had lost his mind. A long silence seemed to fall over the group as everyone just continued to stare at him.

"Um…it was over there?" Lizbeth finally answered his original question uncertainly as she pointed to the trees.

"Oh…" he mumbled absentmindedly with a nod of his head as his eyes searched for and zeroed in on the mouse, the creature stared back. To Kirito it felt like it was laughing at him.

'Don'tchaseitdon'tchaseitdon'tchaseitdon'tchaseit' He started to repeat in his head over and over as the mouse and him continued their stare down.

Was it smirking at him? Oh it was definitely smirking at him.

"I'll kill you!" Kirito practically yelled as he immediately broke into a sprint after the creature, ignoring the alarmed cries from his friends.

"Kirito-kun what are you doing?! Come back!" He heard Asuna yell, but it was too little too late. The chase has begun.

The mouse was going down.

The mouse immediately darted through the trees towards the side walk as Kirito expertly maneuvered after it with all the feline grace in the world.

He hissed at a biker who nearly mowed him over when he suddenly darted out of the trees and onto the sidewalk.

"What the hell?" he heard the man question after he pulled the breaks to his the bike harshly nearly flipping over the handle bar in the process. Kirito was too busy to care, he was on a mission.

The mouse darted under the table of a lemon stand and immediately Kirito crawled under after it, something he will be wholly embarrassed about later on as the woman at the stand screamed.

She scrambled to get away, bumping her knee on the table in the process. The pitcher of one of the lemonades wobbled dangerously on the edge before tipping just as Kirito crawled out the other end.

He yowled like a startled cat as he was suddenly soaked to the bone, he hated getting wet. Wet and sticky, horrible combination.

Now he was really going to make that mouse pay.

"Hey wait a minute!" The woman of the stand called after him as he dashed like a mad man after the mouse, which was currently darting between the legs of a little kid roller-blading.

Kirito cursed under his breath, there was no way he could stop and avoid the kid in time, he had too much momentum going. So he jumped clear over him, gaining a lot of hollers of surprise and awe.

"Holy crap man, did you just see that?!" He heard someone yell to their buddy as he continued to run.

"Yeah man I filmed the whole thing, I was filming the moment the dude went under the table." Another guy commented.

He didn't even notice the two guys skate board after him as he continued his chase, coming up to a forked path, the mouse took the left and he was just about to follow when he heard a cry of alarm.

"Stop that man, he has my purse!" Someone screamed as Kirito felt himself shoved sideways by some burly man in a ski mask clutching a stolen purse in his hands as he ran. Of course he just had to go right.

Kirito paused at the path looking left longingly before glaring at the right path; help the woman get her purse back? Or catch the mouse?

Justice? Or catch the mouse?

But if he thought about it, catching the mouse was like his own justice right?

"Goddammit!" Kirito yelled as he ran down the right way path after the thief. "Why can't woman learn to hold on to their purses!" he yelled up to the sky dramatically as he gained on the man.

This wasn't his first time chasing down someone's stolen purse.

The man glanced behind him in alarm and began to run faster, Kirito wasn't even shaken on the matter though; he could keep up with a freaking moving car if he wanted to.

A fat guy with a purse? No problem.

Kirito leapt at the man as soon as he was close enough, tackling him down impressively before smacking the man upside the head when he tried to struggle. Yanking the purse out of his hand he grumbled something that sounded vaguely like, "You owe me revenge." before throwing a punch at the man, effectively knocking him out.

"Yeah that's going all over the internet." He heard one of the skate boarders state, as he turned to come face to face with a recording camera.

He deadpanned, "Were you chasing after me the whole time?" He asked in annoyance

Both the skaters nodded, and started ranting about how crazy that all was and asking him if they saw correctly that he was chasing a mouse and why.

Kirito tuned them out as he walked around them, he didn't know it at the time but that was his biggest mistake. He should have taken the camera out of their hands and deleted the video.

"Thank you so much!" A young woman just reaching him stooped over, resting her hands on her knees, as she panted and tried to catch her breath from all the running.

"You're welcome." Kirito said as he handed her purse back, earning a large smile from the woman.

"I'd hug you but…you seem to be a little wet…" she trailed off as she stared at him in amusement.

"That's fine; I don't really want a hug anyway." He stated slightly annoyed, as he turned to go find his friends. He didn't have to look far as they were all running down the path towards him looking absolutely panicked.

"What do you want? I owe you at least something…" The woman mumbled as she riffled through her purse.

"To catch that stupid mouse." He mumbled under his breath with his arms crossed as he waited for his friends to catch up.

"Sorry?" the woman questioned as she pulled out her wallet.

"Nothing."

"Oh well, here let me pay-"

"Don't worry about it, I don't need anything in return." Kirito quickly interrupted her before turning and walking towards his out of breath friends, "Except maybe a mouse trap." He continued once he was out of earshot. He only turned back briefly to acknowledge he heard the woman when she called out a "thank you" to his retreating back.

When the three had caught up to him they all took a moment to catch their breath before leveling a glare his way.

"Kirito what the hell was that all about?!" Lizbeth screamed as the other two girls nodded their heads to her question, they had that look in the eyes that said 'I'm going to kill you if you don't give me a good answer.' But he didn't really have one so…

"Nothing." He answered casually.

"What do you mean nothing?!" Asuna shouted before Lizbeth could even respond as she grabbed his arm and started dragging him down the path.

The yelling and the lecturing he had gotten from the three after that had made him feel like a three year old getting scolded by his mother, but he would gladly take it all over again if it meant avoiding what came next.

* * *

The entire next day over was spent with him banging his head repeatedly on the table surface of the bar in Dicey Cafe while everyone else continued to laugh hysterically as they played the newest most popular video on the internet over and over again.

"I just can't get over that face he makes when the lemonade falls on him!" He heard Klein howl with laughter.

One of these days he was going to kill that stupid mouse.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah this chapter sucked. Not my best at all, but I tried. I hoped you guys liked it anyway; review to let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


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